Taking a stand for an AIDS-free world!

Each year for the past 6 years, the Jamaica AIDS Support for Life (JASL) has produced a calendar featuring prominent people in the Jamaican society. I felt honoured to be asked to be on the 2009 calendar along with my daughter Victoria and niece Yeshema. The message for 2009 is that women are the most vulnerable and affected group, a fact which is often not known nor appreciated. So the calendar features mothers, grandmothers and daughters of all ages.

Why did I agree to do this calendar? What is my message? I had no hesitation at all in saying "yes". I want to add my voice to those of millions who are saying "There is no stigma nor discrimination against those who are living with HIV-AIDS". It is my view that all of us must see past their affliction, as we do with other afflictions, and know that each person Living With AIDS (LWA) is truly a magnificent expression of God's love. For some reason, they are here on this planet now to give something to the world, as we all are. When we open up to this we will hear stories that inspire and uplift us. I was honoured last Sunday to be on a panel with Rosie Stone, a woman living with HIV-AIDS and the author of "No Stone Unturned". Just being in Rosie’s presence, reading her book, hearing her speak is to feel her love and forgiveness. Rosie has chosen the love-filled response to being HIV positive, and it shows. You can literally feel her love; she is glowingly beautiful, her face shimmering with light and joy. You just feel GOOD being in her presence, as her light radiates from her to all who enter her sphere.

The second reason I chose to appear on the calendar is to send the message that we are all affected – even if we don’t have the disease. So many of my dear friends have passed from HIV-AIDS. I miss them and treasure their memory and the moments we spent together. On an even larger scale, we are all part of an interlinked and intertwined Universe. When one person is hurt or ill, we all are. This is why when we see photographs and hear the stories of the people who are coping with HIV-AIDS we feel so deeply. It is as if it is us. And it is.

Finally, by appearing on this calendar, I am saying that it is never too early for our children to know about HIV-AIDS. We must speak to them openly and honestly, and listen to them openly and honestly. Most important, as adults, we ourselves must set the example and practice safe sex - committed relationships that include testing together and the use of condoms – every time. We must also open the communication lines so that when our daughters and sons feel ready to engage in intimate relationships they will feel comfortable talking to us, and we will feel comfortable listening and talking to them.

It’s a brave new world – one where we must open to a different way of being, one where we know that HIV-AIDS can be a thing of the past – if we decide. And in the meantime, one where we love, nurture and care for our sisters and brothers LWA.

Tomorrow December 1, remember to wear your red ribbon to signal your love for persons living with HIV-AIDS and your commitment to making HIV-AIDS history. And most importantly, remember that the journey to eradicating HIV-AIDS begins with the personal habits of each and every one of us.

Also, purchase a calendar or a poster, post it prominently in your home and office as an everyday reminder of the connection that we humans have with each other.

A conscience vote

On Tuesday, the Members of Parliament of Jamaica casted conscience votes on the issue of the retention of the death penalty in Jamaica.

In the weeks leading up to the vote, the politicians struggled to define what a conscience vote is. Many quoted the Bible, both for and against the issue. A number of them stated that their conscience would be guided by the wishes of their constituents; some said that they had consulted those they represent, and that their vote would reflect the “will of the people”.

The discussions suggest that a conscience vote is misunderstood, as perhaps is the even the concept of a conscience. Our conscience is the deep inner knowing of what is right or wrong. It is the ultimate connection with the source, the very being of who we are. There is no rationality, nor reasoning – just a knowing. Indeed the word “conscience” comes from the Latin root “scire” meaning knowledge and the prefix “con” meaning with. Our conscience therefore is what we know and what we know with, it is intrinsic and a part of our very nature. To say therefore that one’s conscience needs to be advised by others, is contrary to the very nature of conscience. Acting with a conscience requires an awareness or consciousness of self. It requires that we look deep within, not without, for the right answer.

To make a conscience vote, one must be present and aware. The ego must be moved away (perhaps a very, very difficult task for a politician). It is the ego that is listening to and giving credence to the external opinions bombarding the person. The noise of the ego will drown the voice of the conscience.

How will we know if the answer is the right one? We will just KNOW. There will be a sense of ease and peace. For if one really goes within, there can be no other answer but one that is based on love and forgiveness. This is what creates the peace.

Perhaps rather than a debate the Members of Parliament would have been advised to have gone into deep, silent meditation. Then they would have been able to truly vote with their conscience.

My perfectly planned day

I had my day perfectly planned. I was in Barbados for the Caribbean Association of Indigenous Banks (CAIB) 35th Annual Conference. On Wednesday, I was scheduled to deliver the keynote on "Leadership in Times of Crisis" at 2.30 p.m. I planned my day well, so that I would be ready to deliver a mind blowing presentation that afternoon.

In line with my plan, I awoke at 6.00 a.m., enjoyed a leisurely cup of coffee followed by an invigorating workout of spinning and light weights in the gym. Returning to my room at 7.15 a.m., I intended that after a long cool shower, I would have a solid, healthy breakfast and then return to my room to rehearse my speech until I was confident I could deliver it flawlessly. I was just about to go into the shower when the phone rang. It was Patricia, the CEO of the CAIB:

"Marguerite – where are you"?

"In my room" I responded, somewhat befuddled, wondering where else I should possibly be at 7.20 a.m.

"I need you to do your keynote at 8.15 a.m. The speaker for that slot has been delayed and I need to revise the agenda. Can you be ready for the bus at 7.45"?

"But but but ….. I am not ready; I haven’t rehearsed my speech; I haven’t even showered yet" … a litany of excuses to make this intrusion into my carefully planned day go away.

And then I realised that I was in the exact position that I was due to speak about later (now sooner, much sooner). I was in a crisis! Here is what I had written in my speech:

"Our normal response in a crisis is to PANIC! We become paralyzed, not so much by what is happening but by our FEAR of what has happened in the past and what could happen in the future. FEAR feeds upon itself (contagion effect), and soon everyone else is in a panic. One cannot see clearly in this state, for a state of FEAR clouds our vision and therefore our ability to make decisions. But, this is the very time that we MUST make decisions!"

I was exhibiting the exact same response that, with great authority and wisdom, I would be admonishing my audience not to do! I was panicking. I was paralyzed. I was living from a place of fear. Observing myself, I paused, took a breath and told Pat that I would be on time for the 7.45 a.m. bus. And I was.

Now, with the luxury of time for reflection, here's what I learned:
1. You are never 100% prepared for anything
2. Yet, you are usually more prepared than you think
3. Taking a breath is one of the most powerful things you can do, for it allows the space for clarity and wisdom
4. Trusting yourself is the greatest trust of all – for it is we who undermine ourselves, not others

I delivered the speech. Throughout the day, participants came up to me profuse with their gratitude and congratulations. And Pat reminded me later that all week I had been complaining about being scheduled to deliver the speech after lunch, and there it was – I delivered the speech first thing in the morning. My final lesson? Be careful what you wish for – for you will certainly get it! It was indeed a perfectly planned day.

Laughter

A few days after I launched my book "Free and Laughing: Spiritual Insights in Everyday Moments" in December last year, a friend called me and said "Marguerite, you have got to meet my cousin Winnie. She is into laughter". I immediately invited them both to have breakfast with me a week later, noting to myself that the Law of Attraction was truly in action - I had just put myself out there as being "Free and Laughing" - and what do I attract? A laughter specialist of course!

Life has been a joyous, laughter-infused ride since that balmy December morning on my back patio. Led by Winnie, I have been introduced to Laughter Yoga (www.laughteryoga.org) and become a certified Laughter Yoga Leader along with eight other laughers (including my sister). Winnie and I have laughed on radio programmes, we have celebrated World Laughter Day and we have led Laughter Yoga sessions. Yesterday, we laughed for the filming of a television show on laughter. One look at each other and we … LAUGH!

There are numerous reasons to laugh - but we choose to laugh for no reason except for the joy of it. Winnie always says "You don’t laugh because you are happy; you are happy because you laugh". Indeed, a 15-minute laughter session proves this. No matter your mood at the beginning, you are BOUND to feel a lot better by the end (actually, within just a few minutes). The producer of yesterday’s filming shared with me that the film crew on their way to film us, they had planned that whatever they did, they would not laugh. It was quite a sight to see them all cracking up, while trying to hold cameras and microphones steady! They just couldn’t help themselves, for laughter is so contagious! And they were still laughing on their way back to the studio and singing our little laughter ditty!

What a joy it is to be a part of this virus called laughter! It is a simple, easy thing that we all can do to change the entire world and our own world, one laugh at a time.

The First Family - family first

When the new "first family" came onstage at Grant Park in Chicago on Tuesday November 4, it hit me that not only are we having the first African-American man as President, we are having a whole black family in the White House! For the first time, the residents of the White House will be:

A black man, raised by a single mother, who met his father only twice - so typical of many black families in the United States of America (and in Jamaica). However, Barack Obama has clearly made a choice to not repeat the mistakes his father made. He has chosen to be a very present, involved and loving father. And it shows. Just look at the adoration of Sasha for her dad, the open, uninhibited "I love you Daddy" on the stage of the Democratic National Convention, the hugs and kisses between them. It is beautiful to watch and an inspiration!

A black woman, highly educated, competent and professional, who is leading her family, supporting her husband and showing the world the elegance, beauty and dignity of the true queens of our race! She is an example to us of "having it all"!

A marital relationship in which husband and wife delight in each other, even after 16 years. The smiles, the fist thumps, the foreheads gently knocked together, the long tight hugs, the bodies leaning into each other as they dance, tell a story of a real marriage, a true partnership built on a solid foundation of respect and love. "My best friend, the rock of our family, the love of my life" is how the President-elect described his First Lady on Tuesday night. To see how he looks as her - he means it. And her reciprocating gaze, eyes half-closed and twinkling, say the same.

Two children who are as yet unspoiled by the trappings of society, despite spending so much of their lives in the public spotlight. They skip, they run, they smile, they laugh, they wave shyly, they bubble over with joy! Despite everything, they are children enjoying their childhood

A new puppy - the reward to Malia and Sasha for enduring their father’s journey! I hope it’s a puppy from a shelter - to send a powerful message of support for "unwanted" animals, of which there are millions! Whatever they choose, and they deserve whichever puppy they desire, I know from my own experience that it will be loved, doted on and spoiled - and will give countless moments of unconditional, joyful love!

Take out the adjectives "black" and "African-American" and what we have is simply a delightful, functional "first family" that obviously puts family first - a joy to behold!

A Gift to the World

Thank you America for your gift to the world!

Thanks to the American voters for demonstrating that democracy is alive and well – and is still the best system to date that the human race has developed for representation of the people

Thanks to all who over the past century worked, fought and sacrificed for the right of all to vote

Thanks to Barack Obama for the message – “Yes We Can” for it reminds us that all things are possible if only we believe! You understand that what this world needs now is love, hope and belief in ourselves - and you delivered!

Thanks to those Americans who voted for Barack Obama – you demonstrated courage and commitment to making a change in your country and the world

Thanks to the over 1 million Obama volunteers who tirelessly informed, cajoled, persuaded, supported and registered numerous voters – and then got them out to vote!

Thanks to Barack Obama’s team for giving us a peek at what the brave new world in cyberspace is all about – how powerful it is, how it operates, who lives in this world and how to use it to bring people together and get a message across

Thanks to Michelle Obama – you have demonstrated to millions of women “Yes, you can have it all!”

Thanks to the Obama family – for presenting a different view of the black family than what is typically presented in the media

Thanks to Madelyn Dunham who loved her grandson unconditionally, and thus laid a solid foundation for the man he has become

Thanks to Senator McCain for your concession speech – it is an example of grace in defeat and reminds us that there is no indignity in losing – only in how you run the race

Yesterday, you, the American people, gave the world the gift of HOPE! The world is indeed grateful.

A difficult post

It is very difficult for me to write this post. I am torn between bringing a new perspective to a particular issue, and running the risk of adding to the issue. The issue is some people’s fear that Barack Obama will be killed if he is elected President of the United States of America.

I have heard so many repeat this view – teenagers on a radio show in Jamaica, interviews with African Americans on CNN, friends and acquaintances and even my own dear, loving mother. They want him to win, but this declaration is quickly followed by the big "BUT…. ".

My view on this which I have expressed in many a conversation is that such a thought is not worth thinking, much less repeating. You see, all our thoughts are energy, and every thought has within it tremendous force. It is my belief that the more people think a thing, even if they are not wishing it to happen, the greater the energy field created and therefore the more force there is to actually bring it into being. When we verbalise the thought we are adding even more energy to it, thus increasing the force. It’s as if the energy is now coalescing around a point of focus that becomes more and more powerful the more thoughts are added to it.

What is backing such a thought, and why would people think such a thing? For surely such an event is not worthy of our consideration? This is something that we do not want, so why think it and why add power to it by saying it? We really must guard our thoughts vigilantly - not just about ourselves but also about others. We may find it difficult to not think a thought, but what we can do is not verbalise it, thus reducing the force.

Here is my reason for being reticent in writing about this issue: in speaking about it, could I possibly be adding energy and force to the thought? At last, I have come to terms with this, and believe that my helping others to understand the futility, nay danger of thinking and speaking such a thing, will actually dissipate the force.

I suspect that Sen. Obama has no such fear. He just knows that he has a job to do and is 100% focused on that. I have chosen to join him in where I focus my energy. I do so unequivocallly with the total unwavering love of my being. I invite you to do the same - no fear, no but, no what-if.