Today is the last day of 2008. Tomorrow is the first day of a new year. For many of us, it will be the first day of a new life, with new resolve to transform ourselves into the ideal beings we want to be - slimmer, fitter, richer, more loving, happier, anything-er! Er ..... what’s the difference between today and tomorrow? Why wasn’t there that difference between yesterday and today?
In fact, there really is no difference. It’s just another 24 hours, or looked at another way, a mere second between 11:59:59 p.m. on December 31 2008 and 12:00:00 a.m. on January 1, 2009. Yet, tomorrow will dawn with the energy of multitudes of humanity resolving to live their best lives, to put the past behind them, to be something more, much more than what they were yesterday. I love that energy - it’s the buzz of possibilities. It’s rich, it’s empowering, it’s heady.
The challenge we face is to keep that energy. We can, if we only remember to stay in the energy of the moment. Every moment presents the opportunity to create ourselves completely anew as we desire. Each moment is brimming, overflowing with infinite possibilities - not just the moments of January 1, 2009, but every single moment up to 11:59:59 on December 31, 2009 - and beyond.
In creating ourselves anew, we also create a new world. We must not doubt that the choices that take our personal lives to entirely new levels also create shifts in others. Some shifts we will know about, some we will not. It matters not. All we need to know is that we step up to new levels of our own being, and so our consciousness will radiate outward and touch multitudes. Each and every one of us makes a difference in every moment by the choices we make. A new world starts with a new me.
I wish for you all the happiness and good you desire – and more – in 2009! It will be an amazing year! It already IS an amazing year. Why? Because you, and I, declare it so!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Normally
It is Christmas Eve. Normally, I would be preparing, as I have for the past 9 years, for my mother to come and spend Christmas in our home.
Normally, Victoria would be clearing up her room today, preparing to give up her cozy bed to her Grandma.
Normally, I would be arranging the menu with Mummy, and making arrangements for her to come up to my home in the evening, armed with suitcases, boxes and bags - as if she were moving in "for a long winter’s nap", but only because wherever she went, she wanted to have her special comforts.
Normally, when Mummy arrived, we would peek into those boxes and bags to see the goodies – jumbo cashews, Poppycock, chocolates, Pepperidge Farm cookies, her special, love-infused Christmas cake.
Normally, we would all be attending the Candlelight Service at our church this evening, returning home after midnight finally feeling the Christmas spirit, having enjoyed carolling, communion with friends and family, and luscious Jamaican hot chocolate and hard dough bread smothered in butter.
Normally, when all others were asleep, I would prepare the stockings for everyone, happily playing Santa with the little knicks knacks I had gathered over the past few months. I loved laying Mummy’s stocking on her bed, gently gently so as not to awaken her, faint memories of Christmases decades ago, when I would sense through my dreamy slumber, the laying of a stocking at my feet.
Normally, Victoria and Shane would awaken early, Shane first, despite having only a few hours sleep, to empty their stockings and then to race into Grandma’s room to show her what Santa had brought and urge her to empty her own stocking. – but not before a rich, steaming cup of Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee, a treat that she allowed herself only at my house, was brewed and placed beside her bed.
Normally, Grandma would oooh and aaah over everything in the stocking: “how did Santa know I needed this?” or “Thank you Santa”. And we would all happily play along, still believing that yes, Santa is real!
Normally, we would have our special breakfast of Christmas Egg, a Spanish-style omelette that I concocted the first year that Grandma spent Christmas with us, and that Victoria and Shane have demanded every Christmas since.
Normally, we would gather, dogs and all, Christmas carols playing softly in the background, to open our gifts, the living room a riot of paper, ribbon and bows, Victoria and Shane delirious over their gifts, Mummy eternally grateful for the thoughtfulness of friends and family.
Normally, Mummy and I would clear up the living room and then the kitchen, the comfortable banter of mother and daughter accompanying the swish swish of the dishwashing, sharing our intentions for the upcoming year, our plans for the rest of the day, and whatever else unfolded in the normalcy of the routine.
Normally ……
This Christmas is a “new normal”. This year, members of my family continue our journey on this earthly plane with Mummy here in spirit only. Yet we know that all we are is spirit, so we are very aware that she is with us, just in a different form.
There is the tendency for us to live out the normal traditions. We have decided to create some new ones, and we will see how these emerge. I have given myself permission to dwell a bit in the old normal, but just a bit, for this Christmas my normal is to be present to whatever comes up, to the joy of my family being together, to the generational love expressed, to thoughts of gratitude and love for all those who make up my family.
Many people have said to me “Christmas will be hard for you this year, the first one without your mother”. I smile, for a know that Christmas will be normal – not necessarily in terms of the things I do, but in terms of the love, joy and gratitude that is normal, constant, never changing.
I am wishing you all a happy, normal Christmas, where we all remember the true meaning of who we are - the spirit of love, expressing in unique and wonderful ways, as it did in Jesus the Christ, and as it does in every one of us.
Normally, Victoria would be clearing up her room today, preparing to give up her cozy bed to her Grandma.
Normally, I would be arranging the menu with Mummy, and making arrangements for her to come up to my home in the evening, armed with suitcases, boxes and bags - as if she were moving in "for a long winter’s nap", but only because wherever she went, she wanted to have her special comforts.
Normally, when Mummy arrived, we would peek into those boxes and bags to see the goodies – jumbo cashews, Poppycock, chocolates, Pepperidge Farm cookies, her special, love-infused Christmas cake.
Normally, we would all be attending the Candlelight Service at our church this evening, returning home after midnight finally feeling the Christmas spirit, having enjoyed carolling, communion with friends and family, and luscious Jamaican hot chocolate and hard dough bread smothered in butter.
Normally, when all others were asleep, I would prepare the stockings for everyone, happily playing Santa with the little knicks knacks I had gathered over the past few months. I loved laying Mummy’s stocking on her bed, gently gently so as not to awaken her, faint memories of Christmases decades ago, when I would sense through my dreamy slumber, the laying of a stocking at my feet.
Normally, Victoria and Shane would awaken early, Shane first, despite having only a few hours sleep, to empty their stockings and then to race into Grandma’s room to show her what Santa had brought and urge her to empty her own stocking. – but not before a rich, steaming cup of Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee, a treat that she allowed herself only at my house, was brewed and placed beside her bed.
Normally, Grandma would oooh and aaah over everything in the stocking: “how did Santa know I needed this?” or “Thank you Santa”. And we would all happily play along, still believing that yes, Santa is real!
Normally, we would have our special breakfast of Christmas Egg, a Spanish-style omelette that I concocted the first year that Grandma spent Christmas with us, and that Victoria and Shane have demanded every Christmas since.
Normally, we would gather, dogs and all, Christmas carols playing softly in the background, to open our gifts, the living room a riot of paper, ribbon and bows, Victoria and Shane delirious over their gifts, Mummy eternally grateful for the thoughtfulness of friends and family.
Normally, Mummy and I would clear up the living room and then the kitchen, the comfortable banter of mother and daughter accompanying the swish swish of the dishwashing, sharing our intentions for the upcoming year, our plans for the rest of the day, and whatever else unfolded in the normalcy of the routine.
Normally ……
This Christmas is a “new normal”. This year, members of my family continue our journey on this earthly plane with Mummy here in spirit only. Yet we know that all we are is spirit, so we are very aware that she is with us, just in a different form.
There is the tendency for us to live out the normal traditions. We have decided to create some new ones, and we will see how these emerge. I have given myself permission to dwell a bit in the old normal, but just a bit, for this Christmas my normal is to be present to whatever comes up, to the joy of my family being together, to the generational love expressed, to thoughts of gratitude and love for all those who make up my family.
Many people have said to me “Christmas will be hard for you this year, the first one without your mother”. I smile, for a know that Christmas will be normal – not necessarily in terms of the things I do, but in terms of the love, joy and gratitude that is normal, constant, never changing.
I am wishing you all a happy, normal Christmas, where we all remember the true meaning of who we are - the spirit of love, expressing in unique and wonderful ways, as it did in Jesus the Christ, and as it does in every one of us.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Shane's silver chain
My younger son Shane came home on Saturday night from spending two days with his friends which included an active, fun-filled day at the Yacht Club. He repaired into the bathroom to prepare for his shower, but quickly reappeared at my bedside where I lay reading, exclaiming: "Mummy. I lost my chain in the pool!" This is the silver chain that had belonged to his beloved Grandma Daisy, and that he now wears all the time.
After a few questions to ascertain when last he remembered having the chain, and him being sure that it was in the pool, I said to him: “Don’t worry. Nothing is ever lost. We will call Auntie Wendy in the morning and ask her to check in with the Yacht Club”. I calmly went back to my book, and he to his before-bed ritual.
The next morning, he was invited by another friend to spend the day boating. In true orderly-Universe style, the boat was docked at the very same Yacht Club. We agreed that Shane would go back to the pool to find the chain.
Driving home last night after picking him up from his friend’s home, I was presented with the news that he had found the chain. “Mummy! I found the chain! It was right there on the steps of the pool”.
Yes Shane. It was right there – in its right place. What a reminder, if we need reminding, of the order, the goodness of the Universe! A tiny strand of silver. A 13-year old boy. The connection between a beloved grandmother no longer with us in the flesh, and her adoring grandson. The goodness of the Universe. Nothing is ever lost – temporarily separated, the Universe, as is its wont, conspired to put chain and boy together again.
But Shane and I also had a role to play in declaring and accepting the fact that the chain was not lost. There was no emotion, no panic, no upset, no fear. Shane was certain that the chain was in the pool. He knew where it was. We both knew that he would get it back. We didn’t know how nor when, for we had no idea on Saturday night that Shane would be going to the Yacht Club the very next day. We just knew that the chain was not lost.
In my family we use the declaration "Nothing is ever lost" all the time. And it never fails. It’s not the words that never fail though, it’s the conviction, the trust that it is so. Sometimes we don’t find the thing - and that’s OK, for we know and trust that the thing is in its divine right and perfect place - waiting to reveal itself to us at some other time, or in some other space, or perhaps even to a new owner! "Nothing is ever lost" and the belief in it is a recipe for living a joyous, worry-free life! Both Shane and I slept well on Saturday night, secure in the knowledge that his Grandma’s silver chain was in its right and perfect place, waiting to be reunited with him.
As we revelled in the joy of the reunion of boy and chain, I recognised a learning moment, a moment for Shane to understand that he needs to be careful with his belongings and to not swim with the chain again. So I enquired of him what he had learned from this episode. From beneath his long, softly curving eyelashes, he peered at me quizzically with trusting eyes and said questioningly "That nothing is ever lost?" That was not the response I expected, but it sure was the right answer!
After a few questions to ascertain when last he remembered having the chain, and him being sure that it was in the pool, I said to him: “Don’t worry. Nothing is ever lost. We will call Auntie Wendy in the morning and ask her to check in with the Yacht Club”. I calmly went back to my book, and he to his before-bed ritual.
The next morning, he was invited by another friend to spend the day boating. In true orderly-Universe style, the boat was docked at the very same Yacht Club. We agreed that Shane would go back to the pool to find the chain.
Driving home last night after picking him up from his friend’s home, I was presented with the news that he had found the chain. “Mummy! I found the chain! It was right there on the steps of the pool”.
Yes Shane. It was right there – in its right place. What a reminder, if we need reminding, of the order, the goodness of the Universe! A tiny strand of silver. A 13-year old boy. The connection between a beloved grandmother no longer with us in the flesh, and her adoring grandson. The goodness of the Universe. Nothing is ever lost – temporarily separated, the Universe, as is its wont, conspired to put chain and boy together again.
But Shane and I also had a role to play in declaring and accepting the fact that the chain was not lost. There was no emotion, no panic, no upset, no fear. Shane was certain that the chain was in the pool. He knew where it was. We both knew that he would get it back. We didn’t know how nor when, for we had no idea on Saturday night that Shane would be going to the Yacht Club the very next day. We just knew that the chain was not lost.
In my family we use the declaration "Nothing is ever lost" all the time. And it never fails. It’s not the words that never fail though, it’s the conviction, the trust that it is so. Sometimes we don’t find the thing - and that’s OK, for we know and trust that the thing is in its divine right and perfect place - waiting to reveal itself to us at some other time, or in some other space, or perhaps even to a new owner! "Nothing is ever lost" and the belief in it is a recipe for living a joyous, worry-free life! Both Shane and I slept well on Saturday night, secure in the knowledge that his Grandma’s silver chain was in its right and perfect place, waiting to be reunited with him.
As we revelled in the joy of the reunion of boy and chain, I recognised a learning moment, a moment for Shane to understand that he needs to be careful with his belongings and to not swim with the chain again. So I enquired of him what he had learned from this episode. From beneath his long, softly curving eyelashes, he peered at me quizzically with trusting eyes and said questioningly "That nothing is ever lost?" That was not the response I expected, but it sure was the right answer!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
The space
Over the past few weeks Donovan, my yoga teacher, has been having us focus on our breath in a four-stage breathing exercise:
Inhale
Hold
Exhale
Suspend
The first three steps are fine - it's the fourth step that I have found difficult. I find that whenever I reach this step I experience a moment of confusion, even panic - what do I do now? When I am inhaling, exhaling or holding, I am doing something. In suspending, I am neither inhaling, exhaling nor holding - I am simply being.
Sometimes Donovan instructs us to exhale completely, totalling emtying the breath. When I do this, just before the moment of catching my breath for the next inhalation, I feel a tiny moment, a peephole into the infinitesimal space of nothingness. It is a beautiful nano moment of bliss. However, the moment I start to think and focus on the next inhalation, the space closes.
I had another experience of this space of nothingness. I recently released the audio CD of my book "Free and Laughing: Spiritual Insights in Everyday Moments". I excitedly inserted the CD in the player in my car and happily tuned in to my own voice reading my own very familiar words. Then I noticed that after Track 25, Track 26 did not immediately kick in. I panicked - what is this? I tried another CD, I tried another CD player, I asked others to listen to their CDs, all to no avail. The space was still there. Then I discovered that Track 26 does kick in, but a lot later than planned or expected. For almost two minutes, there is …….. nothing.
My initial response was that something was wrong, and there is something for me to fix. But then, in a tiny moment of the space where nothingness exists, and where everything just is, I perceived a message for me, for Track 25 consists of one word "PRACTICE".
The message to me is to practice being in the space. This practice is not the hard work that we usually associate with doing - it is the practice of suspension, of letting go, of no judgement, of relaxation, of release - of being present. It is the practice of the space.
When you listen to my CD and Track 26 "fails" to trip in, look at it another way - this is your moment to be in the present and practice.
And when you are in a situation and "nothing" is happening, look at it another way as well - time to simply be present and observe.
Indeed, the practice is to create more and more spaces of nothingness, moments of just being, rather than inhaling, exhaling or holding.
Inhale
Hold
Exhale
Suspend
The first three steps are fine - it's the fourth step that I have found difficult. I find that whenever I reach this step I experience a moment of confusion, even panic - what do I do now? When I am inhaling, exhaling or holding, I am doing something. In suspending, I am neither inhaling, exhaling nor holding - I am simply being.
Sometimes Donovan instructs us to exhale completely, totalling emtying the breath. When I do this, just before the moment of catching my breath for the next inhalation, I feel a tiny moment, a peephole into the infinitesimal space of nothingness. It is a beautiful nano moment of bliss. However, the moment I start to think and focus on the next inhalation, the space closes.
I had another experience of this space of nothingness. I recently released the audio CD of my book "Free and Laughing: Spiritual Insights in Everyday Moments". I excitedly inserted the CD in the player in my car and happily tuned in to my own voice reading my own very familiar words. Then I noticed that after Track 25, Track 26 did not immediately kick in. I panicked - what is this? I tried another CD, I tried another CD player, I asked others to listen to their CDs, all to no avail. The space was still there. Then I discovered that Track 26 does kick in, but a lot later than planned or expected. For almost two minutes, there is …….. nothing.
My initial response was that something was wrong, and there is something for me to fix. But then, in a tiny moment of the space where nothingness exists, and where everything just is, I perceived a message for me, for Track 25 consists of one word "PRACTICE".
The message to me is to practice being in the space. This practice is not the hard work that we usually associate with doing - it is the practice of suspension, of letting go, of no judgement, of relaxation, of release - of being present. It is the practice of the space.
When you listen to my CD and Track 26 "fails" to trip in, look at it another way - this is your moment to be in the present and practice.
And when you are in a situation and "nothing" is happening, look at it another way as well - time to simply be present and observe.
Indeed, the practice is to create more and more spaces of nothingness, moments of just being, rather than inhaling, exhaling or holding.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
"My patients have to wait for me"
"My patients have to wait for me" giggled the doctor, smug in her role as a "professional". The discussion was about the difference between a "business" and a "practice". The doctor was adamant that her practice is not a business and is therefore not subject to businesslike operating principles like customer service and honouring people’s time. I was adamant that a doctor should, just like anyone else who is providing a service, organize him/herself in such a way as to deliver that service in the most efficient and effective way possible and with utmost regard and respect for the comfort and need of the "patient". She was adamant that patients are called patients for a reason, and must therefore "understand" and wait. I quickly ended the conversation with a declaration that the medical profession should change what I believe is an outmoded and arrogant way of thinking and behaving, and that I for one, would not be going to a doctor who keeps me waiting (real emergencies understood of course). To which the doctor and others in the conversation responded "That’s because you are not sick enough".
I have been musing on this conversation. Are we really helpless and simply have to take whatever is dished out? I don’t think so at all. I for one have resolved to continue to do everything possible to stay out of the clutches of doctors with such an attitude. I will continue to exercise, eat healthily, manage my stress levels, do my annual medical checkups and whatever else is necessary to maintain an optimum state of wellbeing. I will also continue to choose my doctors carefully, with their commitment to keeping appointments with me as one of the criteria.
But then, suppose I do get very ill, or am in an accident i.e. suppose I am in a state where I am "sick enough". What then? Am I at the total mercy of people with any and every kind of attitude? Not at all. For I do have control over what type of people I attract into my life and my experiences. When I declare and trust that the Universe will provide the right people with the right attitude to fulfil my needs at all times then that is exactly what will occur.
But it goes further than that – as the Law of Attraction states: like attracts like. For me to have experiences with people who have the right, loving, caring and respectful attitude, in addition to the best possible professional competence, I must also be that! That’s my work now - not to worry and complain about my friend the doctor, but to take care of myself, my attitude and behaviour, and to make sure that I am what I desire to attract!
I have been musing on this conversation. Are we really helpless and simply have to take whatever is dished out? I don’t think so at all. I for one have resolved to continue to do everything possible to stay out of the clutches of doctors with such an attitude. I will continue to exercise, eat healthily, manage my stress levels, do my annual medical checkups and whatever else is necessary to maintain an optimum state of wellbeing. I will also continue to choose my doctors carefully, with their commitment to keeping appointments with me as one of the criteria.
But then, suppose I do get very ill, or am in an accident i.e. suppose I am in a state where I am "sick enough". What then? Am I at the total mercy of people with any and every kind of attitude? Not at all. For I do have control over what type of people I attract into my life and my experiences. When I declare and trust that the Universe will provide the right people with the right attitude to fulfil my needs at all times then that is exactly what will occur.
But it goes further than that – as the Law of Attraction states: like attracts like. For me to have experiences with people who have the right, loving, caring and respectful attitude, in addition to the best possible professional competence, I must also be that! That’s my work now - not to worry and complain about my friend the doctor, but to take care of myself, my attitude and behaviour, and to make sure that I am what I desire to attract!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Camille
Camille joined Growth Facilitators as the personal assistant to the partners some three years ago. I participated in her interview, went overseas on a business trip, and when I returned, she was already installed in the job. She has supported me professionally and personally (what's the difference?) and has become my friend. She took a sojourn from Growth Facilitators for a year, but returned earlier this year to the joy of all, and to my own delight. She is now lovingly known as the prodigal daughter.
I have also participated in Camille's spiritual journey. We have done workshops together, she has helped me with my book and audio book and she is a great fan of my blog. So imagine my delight this morning to be invited by Camille to read her blog post. I searched for it on the Growth Facilitators blog, but couldn't find it, then realised that she had started her own blog - www.camillespaulding.blogspot.com
I am so delighted that she has made this step. I read her blogs and see how far she has journeyed. THIS is what life is about - to help, love and support another to grow, learn, expand! If you do this for just one person, then your time on this planet will have been worth it. And of course, the amazing and wondrous thing about helping another is that you yourself grow, learn and expand! For it is a journey of togetherness, of oneness. We are one, therefore what we do for another to help, love and support we do for ourselves.
I have also participated in Camille's spiritual journey. We have done workshops together, she has helped me with my book and audio book and she is a great fan of my blog. So imagine my delight this morning to be invited by Camille to read her blog post. I searched for it on the Growth Facilitators blog, but couldn't find it, then realised that she had started her own blog - www.camillespaulding.blogspot.com
I am so delighted that she has made this step. I read her blogs and see how far she has journeyed. THIS is what life is about - to help, love and support another to grow, learn, expand! If you do this for just one person, then your time on this planet will have been worth it. And of course, the amazing and wondrous thing about helping another is that you yourself grow, learn and expand! For it is a journey of togetherness, of oneness. We are one, therefore what we do for another to help, love and support we do for ourselves.
Monday, December 01, 2008
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